Thursday 18 September 2014

Picture this….

A Monday night in May at the Shepherds Bush Empire with your dance happy bestie and four lovely 'hangers-on' and your teenage girl crush.

 Starting the week with a BLONDIE Bang!!!! (so to speak)


So, feeling terribly wicked being out on a Monday we made the rendezvous in the pub next door and spent so long catching up and getting the beers in that we only caught a few minutes of the very young and terribly sprightly support act.  I can't remember who they were and alas even google cannot spit out their name.   Sorry boys (I think they were boys)

 The sticky floored downstairs was heaving and as we were greater in number than usual it was no mean feat to get to a position where we could actually see Blondie but we made it to a suitable vantage point; reasonable view, able to get to the bar, REALLY BAD for toilets.  (It would take every ounce of dance happy sass to get back to my homies after the one trip that I made.)

 Debbie Harry arrived on stage looking like a particularly sassy everton mint and Blondie started with 'One Way or Another' which was met with a roar of approval as these veterans of pop wrestled it effortlessly back from the adolescent mitts of One Direction.  And then it was hit after perfect hit.  Perhaps some of the missing hits are the only real indication of the fact that Debbie Harry herself is 69 (HOW???) and hasn't the full range that once she did but otherwise it was a superb set.
Could the real Debbie Harry please stand up?

 SET LIST

    Following the aforementioned toilet break and sassy return, convincing people that I did actually have a space nearish the front I had the surreal experience of bumping into friends that I hadn't seen for years.  But at the time it seemed OK because I was drunk and also so obviously a teenager because I was at a Blondie gig.  At least, I think that happened.  I certainly danced to Atomic with someone that I thought I knew.

    During the encore I found myself watching Blondie through an iPad screen as an ardent fan decided to video 'Picture This' A curse on gig videoers and all who sail in her.



    But, still in full on sass mode I asked him to send me a couple of the photos that he had taken, in recompense.  'If you give me your number.'  HAH  the lipstick on the arm technique still works a treat and voila the man hereby to be referred to as Paul (because that is his name) sent me some pics of the popstar pensioner herself.  Thanks Paul - all is forgiven.


    May this be an example that people are good and people bound by a common experience are the 'goodest' of all.  Despite the salacious comments from my gig buddies the lovely Paul texted some photos the very next day, I texted my thanks and we have never made contact with each other again.  Gig goers are good people, except for the perv at the Adam Ant gig but he will burn in everlasting hell fire and be forced to listen to one direction for all eternity.



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    Wouldn't it be good


    • Saturday 13th September, the dance happy, champagne fuelled, girls set off for a brand new venue so that one of us (ahem) could drool a little at the feet of the man she had once intended to marry.

    I was 13 or 14 when Nik Kershaw first got picked up on my adolescent radar with 'I won't let the sun go down on me'  and it was true love.  This may well have also been the last time that I was the same size as Nik, he boldly claimed a 5'5 on Saturday night but that's not what he told The Guardian 

    "I am not tall – I was 5ft 4in last time I measured myself, 
    but I am probably smaller now: people start shrinking at 45." 

    He is decidedly diddy but with a voice that can soar and stir.  It is the same voice and for awhile, sitting in a church (that's novel) with my bestie, I was 13 again and utterly lost.


    • Nik Kershaw an unlikely but self confessed love child of Leonard Cohen and Mr Tumble charmed us with talk of the past and the present and songs new and old.  He won me over with 'Wide Boy' and kept me in the palm of his hand for a long solo acoustic set.  

    • I forgave him for not sharing with the audience that The Riddle had, in fact, been a coded love song to my teenaged self, after all his wife Sarah was in the house.  But I don't think anyone fell for the 'It was a load of bollocks really - tree, river….. just an impromptu play on a folk song'  YEAH RIGHT!  But the secret is safe with me Nik.



    1. 1st Half
    2. Fiction 
    3. Somebody Loves You 
    4. Wide Boy 
    5. Wounded 
    6. Red Strand 
    7. Q&A 
    8. Don Quixote 
    9. Have a Nice Life 
    10. Live Aid Memories 
    11. Die Laughing 
    12. Drive-In Saturday 
      (David Bowie cover)
    13. Q&A 
    14. The Riddle 



    • This was a set of two halves (literally) so I feel that we can take a brief intermission to talk about the union chapel itself.  Hmmmm.
    • The union chapel is a beautiful working church in the heart of Islington.  A stunning building and if I were God (why hasn't that happened yet by the way?) then I am sure that I would like to hang out there.  



    • It's highly atmospheric and the lighting is stunning - for some numbers I just watched Nik's shadow (bigger than he is) playing against the domed ceiling like a kind of cool guitar playing Peter Pan.  

      2. But, and it's a big but, it is very….. proper.  Alcohol is served in an upstairs bar and you cannot bring it down into the chapel hidden in your large jacket pockets, no sireeee, no way, don't even think about it.  You sit in the pews and sit and sit and sit.  The dance happy girls don't sit and it feels sort of wrong.  To be fair an acoustic gig of this nature with a lot of talk does kind of lend itself to sitting but it felt enforced!  If you stand no one else will be able to see and some of the audience clearly needed to be sitting.  It is not sweaty and sticky - it is possibly the gig venue for people who do not like gigs, if only I knew of such a person…


    The second half was as strong as the first with pauses for questions from the audience ranging from 'Why didn't you marry me?' (or perhaps that was just in my head) to 'What do you really think about Howard Jones?' all answered with a grin and a twinkle, a likeable self depreciation and a minor rant about us paying more for our babysitters than for our tickets.

    The audience had warmed up a bit - I hope they weren't guilty of  secreting alcohol about their person in the house of the lord.  And there was a very jolly sing along to The One and Only.  I'm guessing Nik had heard about my dance with Chesney and was just asserting his position AS the one and only.

    You can definitely hear Janie and I here - we were the ones who knew the second line :)  And we were not doing the community clapping thing.  The dance happy girls do NOT clap on demand!





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